That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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