I will die if light touches me.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Randomize
