I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
