Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I have post one night stand depression
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
