Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
