no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Randomize