Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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