closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
