I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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