Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize