yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Randomize
