I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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