I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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