Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
