Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
