and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
