Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
