walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
