She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
