you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
