we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
