This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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