Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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