i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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