Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
