hotel room ftw
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
