What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
