He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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