I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
