Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
