Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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