I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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