We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
