just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
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