So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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