He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
