hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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