Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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