we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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