the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize