I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
