real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
