I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Actions speak louder than pants.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I got inside last night via doggy door
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
