Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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