Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Holy sore nipples Batman
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Randomize
