We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
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