She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
they're like a gay fantastic four
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
