i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
they're like a gay fantastic four
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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