well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
