he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Dicks are not precious.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize
