ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
