very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
