We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
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