If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
You need a sexual gate keeper
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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