Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
