Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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