We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Randomize
