Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
