Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
