we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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