well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
handjob tips. give me some.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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