Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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