Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
