It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
