ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
