I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
