So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
