So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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