we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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